and pain
As my burning blood from my mind is drained

Demon desire; you lead. I drag behind
Demon desire; leave my fragile mind
How can I be at peace
When my blood is on fire
Don't want to be your slave
Demon desire

I can never fight my nature
I am he - the pleasant primitive
Or so the queens of lust they see me
But myself is all I have to give

Desire fills my heart with guilt and pain
As my burning blood from my mind is drained

Demon desire; you lead. I drag behind
Demon desire; leave my fragile mind
How can I be at peace
When my blood is on fire
Don't want to be your slave
Demon desire

Curse this world
That gives urges but no breeding grounds
How shall I see the sun
Behind desire's brooding clouds
I cannot fight my nature
The pleasant primitive
O, let me live...

All my years and all my gold
It takes to ease the demon
All my years and all my gold
To keep the beast at bay

Could I only put away my bow
When no prey in sight
But now I'll leave my mind behind
For another hungry quest into the night

Demon desire; you lead. I drag behind
Demon desire; leave my fragile mind
How can I be at peace
When my blood is on fire
Don't want to be your slave
Demon desire


2. Beautifool

Haute couture tin soldiers
All from the same mould
Ragdoll queens with perfect seams
But your eyes are cold
O, your eyes are cold

A fair form with no substance at all
If not "pushed up" you would instantly fall
A stranger tale I know not than you
If not "made up" no one would believe in you

The preachers of perfection
Tell us to be like (before it's too late)
But they can't see the light within us
Trough their designer shades

The peasant will do as his queen will bid
Unconsciously hoping to wake up in her bed
Pretends not to see the disgust in her eyes
That it's all in his head

The preachers of perfection
Tell us to be like you (before it's too late)
But I'll never be you
And it makes you so easy to hate

Your fair feet will walk on water
I may swim and drown
The only weight you'll have to carry
Is the winner's crown
('cause you're beautiful)
I can't trust your pretty face
I hate the pity in your eyes
You know you'll always win the race
No matter how hard I try
('cause your beautiful)

I can see how through life you play
Who would do you harm
But in the dark
Where your beauty won't light your way
Know this to be true:
There I'm stronger than you

You have the "right" of beauty
To do with the world as you like
Behold the well fed one
At our hunger strike

You were born from beauty
You'll find a beautiful mate
To breed more beautiful faces
While I shall die in no one's arms
And vanish without any traces

Your fair feet will walk on water
I may swim and drown
The only weight you'll have to carry
Is the winner's crown
('cause you're beautiful)
I can't trust your pretty face
I hate the pity in your eyes
You know you'll always win the race
No matter how hard I try
('cause your beautiful)

But in the dark
Where your beauty won't light your way
Know this to be true:
There I'm stronger than you


3. The Raven

The raven's my totem; my brother
He is me; I am him
Watching this innocent world
Grow increasingly grim

The raven's the sign you'll see
When darkness is near
Rooted deep in your heart
Your primeval fear

A black garment suits a black soul
Avoided since days of old
There flies the raven

I am the dark spirit inside yourself
You dare not name
I am the lunatic you need
To know you're still sane

My ancestors long ago
Served the one-eyed lord
So today, a jester of darkness
I see and report

A black garment suits a black soul
Avoided since days of old
There flies the raven

Gloomweaver eternal
Children of the light: Scorn me not
Be content you're not me
Be content you're not me

From old they have feared him
(There flies the raven)
Never dared to be near him
(There flies the raven)
The darkwinged omen:
Who will live, who will die
You better beware
When you hear the raven cry
When you hear the raven cry


4. Faith - Apathy Divine Part I

Watch the disillusionist making himself disappear
A last display of magic ere surrendering to fear
Lost my faith in leaders and systems long ago
Now it seems I'm losing faith in everything I know
No more attempts to fill the empty pages

Don't ask me to explain my actions
There's no masterplan
No longer seek I satisfaction
In these barren lands
I asked so many whys: were given so few answers
That I can't seem to sense any sense anymore

I cried out to the heavens above
To find out if someone was waiting for me
But they just wanted my gold, not my soul
Though they could have it for free

Lying awake at night; should I keep up the fight
Is madness cursed our divine
Roll with the thunder; cry in the rain
What would the lunatic find

O, apathy divine
Forget it all in time
No more darkness; no more light
No more battles left to fight

Afraid to swim into the sea
For the sea may drown
Afraid to climb into the tree
If lightning splits the crown
I heard so many lies; that truth no longer matters
Taking endless extra spins on my unmerry-go-round

Tried to play my life backwards
To find hidden messages; telling me who I am
But I only heard
"Thou art human - thou art damned"

Lying awake at night; should I keep up the fight
Is madness cursed our divine
Roll with the thunder; cry in the rain
What would the lunatic find

O, apathy divine
Forget it all in time
No more darkness; no more light
No more battles left to fight

Used to flow with the waves
But who can swim forever without drowning
Used to strive for immortality
But who needs eternity
In misery

Lying awake at night; should I keep up the fight
Is madness cursed our divine
Roll with the thunder; cry in the rain
What would the lunatic find

O, apathy divine
Forget it all in time
No more darkness; no more light
No more battles left to fight

Should I rely on the arts
To cast light upon us all
Should I write a requiem
For what none wants to recall
At all

No I shall count these the last days of the sun
And seek comfort in darkness
'Til my life tread is spun

But play just one more for me lads;
As they carry me out...


5. Envy

To overthrow his masters
Always the slave by healthy envy was driven
But is my envy still healthy
When I wish not to inherit the castles they live in

I covet not my neighbour's house
Nor his thralls or his cattle
Only the shield that they are to him
In this battle - of life

The poet looks into the mirror
Sees the signs of human action
You may look in there as well
But only see your own reflection

I envy you each day of bliss
Each lucky spell and divine kiss
That the gods bestowed upon you not me

The pictures they paint; are so utterly faint
But clear enough to stir the envy in all
Self-training classes for the consuming masses
To make us feel ugly and small
But that envy is a safe ally
Is a lie

I live with ghosts from the past
I live in fear that the next day's the last
I can't keep smiling at your games
While the world is falling down in flames
But make no mistake
I wish I could

I cannot assume ignorance
Of the suffering of man
I cannot pretend pleasure
In walking this scorched land
But make no mistake
I wish that I could

Stormtroopers of stupidity
Manipulating magic
Amazing disgrace of the human race
Sells a paradox fantastic:
That opposed to the so called blessed
You find though you do not seek
Happiness

Sometimes I even envy your conformity
It's not all happy days in the freakshow
- you know
Everything bestowed upon you not me

The pictures they paint; are so utterly faint
But clear enough to stir the envy in all
Self-training classes for the consuming masses
To make us feel ugly and small
But that envy is a safe ally
Is a lie

Still - one can dream of a time
When all the lies have been revealed
And then...

The pictures they paint;
With blood shall be stained
The nightmare of dream factories
Brought down at last
The outcasts shall be the new in crowd, you see
And their mantras a thing of the past
'Cause that envy is a safe ally
Is a lie


6. Snow - Apathy Divine Part II

When all is white;
No more red blood will flow
When all is frozen;
There'll be more tears of woe

Locked in winter's deadlock grip
I shall be pleasantly helpless
Ending forever the feverish boil
A wreck, no longer reckless

Snow falls like frozen tears
As if the gods they were crying for me
But I guess there are no more gods
We are alone on this wild, raging sea

If the shipwrecked beats hole in his lifeboat
How can he expect to be saved
Guess that nobody cares
So we might as well go to our graves

When all is white;
No more red blood will flow
When all is frozen;
There'll be more tears of woe

Snow falls without; snow falls within
It's colder now; than it's ever been
Inner lands gleaming white
Will there be day after night
Snow falls without; snow falls within
It's colder now; than it's ever been
Cover me in oblivion's frost
Erase the traces of what was lost

Caught in apathy's claws
Longing to travel but nowhere to go
Say nothing, do nothing
Longing for caring but no one to hold

Don't know how long I can handle
This urge to blow out the candle
Feel like growing rapidly old
And now it's so cold

When all is white;
No more red blood will flow
When all is frozen;
There'll be more tears of woe

Snow falls without; snow falls within
It's colder now; than it's ever been
Inner lands gleaming white
Will there be day after night
Snow falls without; snow falls within
It's colder now; than it's ever been
Cover me in oblivion's frost
Erase the traces of what was lost

I'll lay down on these softly rounded hills
This winter's day
And when sun returns
With the snow I'll melt away

Snow falls without; snow falls within
It's colder now; than it's ever been
Inner lands gleaming white
Will there be day after night
Snow falls without; snow falls within
It's colder now; than it's ever been
Cover me in oblivion's frost
Erase the traces of what was lost

I'll lay down on these softly rounded hills
This winter's day
And when sun returns
With the snow I'll melt away


7. Sleep

Sleep
The velvet darkness
Where time stands still

Those sweet hours
Where the challenged finds
A moment's refuge

Embrace the warm shadows
Unconscious the truth

The torn soul leaves its house
And journeys on moon paths
To the edge of the world

And for a brief while
Again you feel the caress of the wind
On the plains of evermore

Bird of sleep come carry us
Upon the wings of freedom
Journey to the refuge on the other side
Play again like children
Without sorrow in our hearts
And when you fly us back
We'll shine with the morning star


8. I Shall Not Yield

I wish from the beginning of this game
I had known it was in vain
That everything was doomed to fail

Too long I lived in childish innocence
While the teachers of pretence
Tested my will to prevail

I cannot trust in anyone, I know
To me my neighbour is my foe
There's poison in the sweets you find

Exploiting weakness with free trade lies
The only thing you cannot buy
Is happiness and peace of mind

It's a balance of power; should I jump
From the prisoners tower

Sometimes I wish that I could lay me down
And hope for no tomorrow
But you'll never see me surrender my blade
Refusing death's call, I will conquer my fate
For I shall not yield

And I cannot even sell my soul
It's breath, torn and abused
Still my life joy may fetch a fair price
Since it's only "slightly used"

It's a balance of power; should I jump
From the prisoners tower

Sometimes I wish that I could lay me down
And hope for no tomorrow
But you'll never see me surrender my blade
Refusing death's call, I will conquer my fate
For I shall not yield

Gods of life!
I meet your challenge
I shall rise from every blow you strike at me
I shall break every spell you throw at me
You will not push me that last bit of way
Over the Edge
Even if I'm only holding on by sheer spite itself
You may have woven this one's life tread
Of a fowl and poisoned string
But it shall not break
That final victory shall be denied thee...forever!

When even my imaginary friends
Turn their backs on me again
And leave me bleeding on the ground
I can no longer welcome each new day
But on this battlefield I'll stay
'Cause you will never bring doen

And when in time to the ground I'm bent
From carrying life's stone; my strength all spent
I shall drag myself forth by the tip of my nails
To spit on your feet with a last scornful hail

It's a balance of power; should I jump
From the prisoners tower

Sometimes I wish that I could lay me down
And hope for no tomorrow
But you'll never see me surrender my blade
Refusing death's call, I will conquer my fate
For I shall not yield


9. Reason... ?

Everything is lost
Nothing means anything
Why go on in sorrow
Why live to fear tomorrow
"Luckily" my instinct of selfpreservation
Is stronger than my death wish
That is why my eyes are hard and
That is why I do not answer your smile


10. Carpe Noctem - Seize The Night

Live by dreaming
A walkabout in olden slopes
Wake up sleeping
In soil covered in ice
Where will the roses grow

Floating in a haze
Like seaweed to the shore
Who will bring back the silky scents
Of the hills of evermore

Then I woke up at the first break of night
My eyes were the only light
And I shall count these the last days of the sun
And seek comfort in darkness
'Til my life thread is spun

The colours of black
The music of the night

Throw your voice high into the air full of pride
Find your own road to glory
Use what powers life may give you
Never cease the fight
If you cannot win the day
Seize the night

Only given pleasure; to learn to yearn for it
Only given light; to be blind without it
Only given power; to be scared to use it
Only given mind; to finally lose it

The colours of black
The music of the night

Maybe this is my true realm
In truth I may be blinded by light
If such is indeed my purpose
I shall seize the night

Throw your voice high into the air full of pride
Find your own road to glory
Use what powers life may give you
Never cease the fight
If you cannot win the day
Seize the night