hild, and a scared soul

In my dreams, I can fly away
And look back through tears of pain
Even if I were to never awake
I would still have my downtime

If only my mother knew the real me
Her heart would break, for I am shame
Not the strong man she raised from birth
A coward, a child, and a scared soul

A sweet embrace from honest love
Just won't be enough this time
If I had the cure, to save myself
I would then know how you feel

If only my mother knew the real me
Her heart would break, for I am shame
Not the strong man she raised from birth
A coward, a child, and a scared soul


2. Broken

I am broken.
In spirit, body, and mind
Forever cold to faith in life
Mother of night, embrace me
I have not forgotten
Looking back on the years of last
With so much pain to bare
I am broken

Nights forgotten its son of brave
And turned her back on bitterness
Torn is my duality
Judging the force of things yet old
Trivia in forsaken thoughts
Of tomorrow's crushing blow

A calming plea, follow the day

Two fold, I stand to ache
Given to me by pitiful life
Desperate time, to pass in stride
How does anyone ever know?
False dreams, and lesser faith

Can you look me in the eyes
And tell me everything's all right?
If we talk about tomorrow
How can I stop your tears?

Separation of life and mind
Comfort, the quest for time
Suffer day, and hallowed night
In dark realms to betray
Left here for the devouring dogs
To feast upon my very pride
One thing I will never forget
That I am only a man
And I am broken

Failure I cannot fix
False hope for nothing
This is the life I lead
And tomorrow will not change


3. Lost In A Day

I can't control when I was afraid
So far away, from any choice I have
Here in this day, I continue to fear
Simple as I am, It's always on my mind

Somewhere inside, a voice is heard
To remind me that I have lost control

I have lost my will, to continue this way
With every waking breath, I decide...
How I live my life is far from normal days
See my downward fall, and allow me to lie

Somewhere inside, a voice is heard
To remind me that I have lost control

I give into my life, and color it with black
I listen to my heart, and hear nothing
If every day is cold, and the skies have turned to gray
Only then will I be happy with this pain

I have come to realize, my trials are before me
These are the rules set forth, to be lost in a day

I can't control when I was afraid
So far away, from any choice I have
Here in this day, I continue to fear
Simple as I am, to be lost in a day


4. Within My Flesh

My bride to comfort me
when all seems lost
A kiss upon my brow
to soften my suffering
She means so well
I haven't the heart
To tell her
my smile was forced.

My mother cries for me when no one will
Her words of compassion swell my eyes
"It's not fair this has happened to you,
And I'd do anything to take away your pain"

My rage to help me through the day
And visions of black to cure my loss
I taunt the pain to prove it's real
And greet my facade with a grin

Look what your God has made me
Placing spikes within my flesh
A crown of nails for my sunken head
To shy away from this freak


5. If Forever

On the days you long for me
And the cold nights of grey

(Hear me)

I ask you to forgive me
And bow my head in shame

(Feel me)

I promise, I will never leave you
I will not go on without you
If the light calls upon me
I will remain, waiting for you

(Live for me)

I've never felt so empty before
I never cared more for us

(Pray for me)

I promise, I will never leave you
I will not go on without you
If the light calls upon me
I will remain, waiting for you

Somewhere along the days of my life
I found my faith in you

(Cry for me)


6. The Spirit Seed

In just one breath
Your dreams will fade
A moment in time
For fear to embrace

The future... is my enemy
Long days.... and endless nights

Pain awakes my sleep
And ends in a silent barrage of calm

Look at me though jaded eyes
Forever see the mask I wear
Never feel pity for me
It's the way my life lives

Beaten by the only life I know
Forced upon the spirit seed
I only wish I had the strength
To say goodbye

At what time did you turn your back?
I pay for this with every breath
And all you do is preach through man
Of how merciful you can be

Then you shall not fail
For every time you close your eyes
I'll be there to greet you


7. Torn

(life)
I long for days like this
My heart pounds when you are near
The gift of life
Treasure it, for it is pure
Embrace it with all your heart

Not a thousand years of pain
Would be worth the loss of this
I hold for you a special gift
And on this day, a new life begins

(torn)
Facade the day of forest green
And calm my breath with words of plight
A question I ponder this hour
The light for me, or shadows engulf

(death)
I am the answers you seek
You stand before me
And I see your sorrow
Even now, in your agony
You can have your doubt
For one last time

(torn)
Do I make make the sacrifice?
To walk among the restless souls?
How can I let this go on?
Torn between love and life
All is dead in my eyes

(death)
Close your eyes and welcome the truth
Innocence is so sweet
For only the aging of the flesh
Shall rain upon the sorrows of life

Admire this touch of heaven
Before it fades.
I remember days of old,
And through your grief, one stands clear.
I can see you forge a smile

All these flowers are turning to snow
For all is lost in your heart
It's only her love that keeps you alive
Now's the time for your pain to end

(life)
How can I ever live without you?
This all seems so perfect
So perfect, until I dream of you
And your smile is my sunshine

You deserve more then this
Your saviour has come
A strong soul to carry on
To take you home
I need you here with me
Follow me now
To pick me up when I fall
Before the sunlight fades


8. The Lifeless Silhouette

I just want to close my eyes
So I can forget about today
Forget about what lies tomorrow
And only take place in the realm of paradise
To be beaten each day
And lower my head
As if its my own fault
Forgotten about as night falls

Restless nights that are filled with guilt
And invite me into their empty embrace
I never saw this coming
And I now know that i'm not alone
I can only wish that i'm the last
And no one will suffer my fate
It would take an eternity in hell
For my heart to rest in peace.

To strike down this hate filled soul
And give back the pain you've caused
Would only satisfy
My craving for blood.

I will see you in the end
And I will laugh at your pain
So I damn your fucking life
And I pray you suffer long
And all the angels turn their backs
From the site of your pitiful face
No God will save your soul
For there is no love for you
You left that all behind
The day you learned to fucking speak


9. Dark Fields For Brillance

Solid shades of passions lie
With countless eyes to stare your sleep
Wallow in terror of nights fetal embrace
Cold tongues taste the fear
A dark vision to scare my soul
And shy away as the madness calls upon me

To close my eyes at the end of day

Welcome dark clad armies of fear
More then novels have told my tale
And campfire dreams that warm the soul
With every moment of every night
The shadows dance the walls
And I know she looks upon me from afar

To close my eyes at the end of day
Evokes dark fields for brilliance

Her cold smile haunts the after thought
A fate for us all to be taken away

From the empty days of hope, deny the darkness
Follow my voice, we'll run far away from here

If only to hide, to escape this life
And live forever, forever in the sun

For all the nights I lie awake
And stare into the void
Just once I wish to grasp
Some glimmer of hope
A cowards reign
The last to know
Forward, down
And through my eyes